When your ears hang low…


When I think about my boobs post pregnancy and post breastfeeding a song from my childhood comes to mind:

Do Your Ears Hang Low?
Do They Wobble to and Fro?
Can You Tie Them in a Knot?
Can You Tie Them in a Bow?
Can You Throw Them Over Your Shoulder Like a Continental Soldier?

Do Your Ears Hang Low?
Do Your Ears Hang High?
Do They Reach Up to the Sky?
Do The Droop When They’re Wet?
Do They Stiffen When They’re Dry?
Can You Semaphore Your Neighbour with a Minimum of Labor?

Do Your Ears Hang High?
Do Your Ears Hang Wide?
Do They Flap From Side to Side?
Do They Wave in the Breeze?
From the Slightest Little Sneeze?
Can You Soar Above the Nation with a Feeling of Elation?

Do Your Ears Hang Wide?
Do Your Ears Fall Off?
When You Give a Great Big Cough?
Do They Lie There on the Ground?
Or Bounce Up at Every Sound?
Can You Stick Them in Your Pocket Just Like Little Davy Crockett?

Do Your Ears Fall Off?

Obviously in my head I replace ‘ears’ with ‘boobs’; I believe quite honestly that I could more easily tuck them into my socks, than I could stuff them into a push-up bra.

And of course, nobody warns you. Nobody sits you down and says “now look, I know you have stopped breastfeeding so be prepared for the fact that your large, sore, over-engorged breasts are about to shrivel up; quite literally turning inside out and all you will be left with are, two empty almost tea-bag style sacks, on your chest.”

For most women, boobs are the first sign of pregnancy; the growth and the tenderness are a dead giveaway. When pregnant, my boobs grew from a modest D-cup to a HH-cup. I am not joking, I am not lying! They were so comfortable and flattering in all my clothes… no actually, no they bloody weren’t; nothing fit me (my boobs were the same size as my 20 week stomach) and I couldn’t lie on either side or on my tummy, in bed.

Once our little man arrived, they only got bigger and to be honest I stopped bothering with bras, breastfeeding is so bloody tough and my boobs were always so hard and full; I mainly walked around naked in the hope my nipples would heal with some fresh air.

The real fun and games started once I decided to stop breastfeeding, my Mum came over and with her came frozen cabbage leaves; she stuck them down my top and sent me on my way.

Luckily, for me, it didn’t take too long for my milk to dry up and the pain subsided quite quickly but I am now left with what resembles more of cow’s udder than nice perky breasts. And, I am now starting to realise why my gorgeous husband begged me not to write this particular blog…


Now that we are trying for number two, I am concerned for the size that could return whilst also being super excited to try breastfeeding, again.

I have come to terms with the fact that I may need a boob job once our next babies gig is over… not for anyone else but myself.

While writing this blog I found a meme that sums up my experience, perfectly:


M2M xox

2 thoughts on “When your ears hang low…

  1. Ooh oh ohhhhh…. I know exactly how you feel! I have 2 kids, 16 & 20…. and yes, my boobs are never the same again. They used to be a DD but if I let them hang loose, they look more like papayas! Serious. Also contemplating a boob job since my baby days are long over! My boobs have served the kids well (100% breastfed for 2 years) but now, they need some overdue overhaul! 🙂


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